MS
M. Stonehand
Principal & Moral Philosophy
“The past is a room, not a prison.”
NOTICE: The west stair lamp is lit again. Visitors are asked to use the front entrance.
Thank you for your continued patience during this period of restoration.
Thank you for your continued patience during this period of restoration.
A message from the Principal
Welcome, prospective scholar.
For one seventy years, Smackington Academy has prepared curious young women for lives of consequence. Our classrooms remain small, our standards remain high, and our doors remain open—during posted hours.
Explore this site to learn about our traditions, our faculty, and the remarkable building we are privileged to steward. If you find an inconsistency, please report it to the archivist.
— Mr Stonehand
Principal, Smackington Academy
The archivist has underlined three words in the old register: west / lamp / letter. The rest has been filed under “ordinary maintenance.”
Our institution
A school of character.
Smackington is a selective academy for students aged 18 and older. We offer an education in letters, sciences, and the responsible use of inherited knowledge.
Our brownstone campus sits quietly behind an iron gate on Smackington Place. Tours are available by appointment, except on days marked in red.
The people who keep the lights on
Faculty & staff
MP
M. Paige
Archivist, Upper Library
Office hours: after the second bell.JP
Jonas Pike
Applied Natural Sciences
Currently on leave. Since 2004.Please mind the uneven floors
Campus directory
01. Front HallReception · Trophy case
02. Lower LibraryArchives · Reading room
03. North ClassroomNatural sciences · Bell rope
04. West StairEntry omitted from current plan
Campus maps are revised whenever necessary. The current plan is dated October 31, 1999.
Traditions & notices
Student life
Students may join the Debate Society, Lantern Keepers, Junior Naturalists, and the much-loved Smackington Dramatic Circle. The annual Founder's Walk begins at dusk and ends when all participants have returned.
This section is being restored. Please check back after the next bell.